These Phrases given by A Parent Which Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Parent

"I think I was just just surviving for a year."

Ex- reality TV cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the challenges of becoming a dad.

Yet the truth rapidly became "very different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health complications during the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was forced into becoming her main carer while also caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I took on all the nights, every change… every stroll. The job of mother and father," Ryan stated.

Following eleven months he burnt out. It was a conversation with his own dad, on a park bench, that made him realise he needed help.

The direct statement "You aren't in a good spot. You must get support. What can I do to assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and start recovering.

His situation is far from unique, but infrequently talked about. Although the public is now more comfortable talking about the strain on mums and about post-natal depression, less is said about the struggles fathers face.

'It's not weak to seek assistance

Ryan believes his difficulties are symptomatic of a wider inability to communicate between men, who still hold onto harmful notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the fortress that just gets smashed and stays upright every time."

"It is not a show of failure to request help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he adds.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, says men often don't want to accept they're struggling.

They can think they are "not justified to be requesting help" - particularly ahead of a mum and baby - but she highlights their mental well-being is equally important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the opportunity to ask for a pause - going on a short trip overseas, outside of the home environment, to gain perspective.

He understood he had to make a adjustment to consider his and his partner's feelings in addition to the day-to-day duties of taking care of a new baby.

When he opened up to Louise, he saw he'd missed "what she was yearning" -holding her hand and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has changed how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will read as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will enable his son to better grasp the language of feelings and understand his decisions as a father.

The concept of "reparenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen was without stable male guidance. Despite having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, long-standing difficult experiences caused his father struggled to cope and was "coming and going" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says repressing feelings resulted in him make "poor decisions" when younger to change how he felt, finding solace in substance use as a way out from the anguish.

"You gravitate to things that are harmful," he says. "They may temporarily change how you feel, but they will ultimately make things worse."

Strategies for Managing as a New Father

• Open up to someone - when you are overwhelmed, tell a family member, your other half or a therapist what you're going through. Doing so may to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - make time for the things that made you feel like yourself before becoming a parent. It could be exercising, seeing friends or gaming.
• Look after the body - eating well, staying active and where possible, resting, all are important in how your mental state is faring.
• Spend time with other first-time fathers - sharing their journeys, the challenges, along with the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're experiencing things.
• Know that seeking help does not mean you've failed - prioritising you is the optimal method you can support your family.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the passing, having had no contact with him for many years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his boy and instead offer the stability and emotional support he lacked.

When his son threatens to have a outburst, for example, they practise "shaking the feelings out" together - expressing the frustrations constructively.

Both Ryan and Stephen say they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they faced their pain, altered how they communicate, and taught themselves to regulate themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… processing things and handling things," explains Stephen.

"I put that down in a message to Leo recently," Ryan shares. "I expressed, at times I think my role is to teach and advise you on life, but actually, it's a exchange. I am discovering just as much as you are in this journey."