This Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the last season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin listing the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, abuse claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but flippant narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.